Friday feedback with Danni Liljekrans.
When you have to choose between a comforting lie that feels nice, or a truth that you can learn from but will be a bit of a gut punch, which do you choose?
Most of us would like to say it's the truth, but maybe you can recognize the idea in this image:
So, in reality, when people have to choose between a little comforting lie that everything is fine, or a truth that they can really learn something from, but which is also going to be an unpleasant experience, we all opt for the comforting lie.
Where would your colleagues stand?
The one where they got a comforting lie? Often it's disguised as a neutral comment or the absence of feedback.
Or where they were told something that they could really learn from? That would be good for the company and for the person in the long run?
The uncomfortable truth could be, for example:
"You know what, I can see the intention of the meeting, but I think we got off track really early, and I can also see that your presentation was well done, but it was so text-heavy that I had a hard time staying focused. That's just to be honest."
There's a lot to learn, but it's also a bit of a gut punch.
Your behavior affects the feedback you receive
What queue are you putting yourself in?
We want to say: "The one where you get the truth!", but even though we sometimes think: "I want to hear the truth", our behavior will make the recipient reluctant to tell the truth.
For example, if you say before a presentation:
"I've been so excited to present this to you today!"
Then people will subconsciously find themselves in a situation where they have to choose to disappoint you if they criticize your presentation.
You might not think so. But they do.
Unconsciously.
Orif you say: "We've been fighting for this product for months and we're finally ready to show you how it works. Are you ready for it?"
It has the same effect.
People will think: "Yeah. Ahh... What should we do?"
Instead, if you say: "I've been really excited to share this with you, but it's also important that we adjust any small errors. So if you see anything we can do better, let us know. Before we go out to the customers with it."
It puts people in a completely different state that can bring out the truths.
What examples can you think of from your everyday life, your work or your private life, where we - unconsciously - through our behavior put the recipient in a situation where they do not give us real, true feedback.
I'm looking forward to hearing what you have to say so we can have a directory we can recognize and therefore learn from, so we can become better.
Check out the comments on LinkedIn and let's learn from each other.
Every Friday a new short episode of #Fridayfeedback is published. Short videos with tips for better performance and well-being through feedback.
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