Getting feedback as a manager from your colleagues is one of the most powerful ways to develop in your professional life. Yes, even as a human being. But many people find that getting constructive and honest feedback from colleagues is easier said than done. There are actually a number of natural reasons for this when we delve into social and behavioral psychology. Here we take a look at the typical barriers and solutions for those who want more useful feedback on their leadership.
A typical situation with feedback as a manager
Whatever your position, I'm almost certain you've said something similar in some context:
"Sooo, do you have any feedback for me? For example, some things you think I should do differently...?"
The answer is
"Hmm, no, not really.... (?)"
I'm annoyed, you think. Because you really think you're making an effort to be open and responsive to feedback, but you don't understand why you never get anything in return.
You want to develop yourself, and you can't believe that the person doesn't have anything on their mind.
Unfortunately, getting (useful) feedback from your employees, colleagues or the outside world is not a given. Some people naturally master the things it takes to get good, honest, constructive feedback back, while others struggle. What they all have in common, however, is that it can be learned through the use of the right tools, reflection and, most importantly, training.
Let's start by taking a look at why we end up in these situations in the first place. Then we'll dive into what you can do to get more useful feedback in the future.
Typical reasons why it can be difficult to get (useful) feedback as a manager
There's no single reason why it's difficult to get constructive feedback from others - especially feedback to you as a manager from your employees. In order to get around the potential barriers in the dialog, it's necessary to know something about them in the first place. So, let's take a look at some typical reasons why it can be difficult to get feedback from colleagues or employees.
Asymmetry in power
Managers naturally have a harder time getting honest feedback because they have more formal power than the employee. They are "behind the curve" when it comes to getting honest feedback, and it only gets worse the higher up you go in the hierarchy and the more formal the work environment you work in. The asymmetry of power means that employees consciously or unconsciously don't give honest feedback because they fear that it could backfire in terms of their employment, work tasks, future opportunities and so on.
Unclear what feedback you want
Do you want to know that I find it annoying that you ask me about tasks the second I walk through the office door? Do you want to know that I think we should divide tasks differently? Or are you really just interested in knowing that I think you're not present in our 1:1 meetings?
If you don't make it clear what you're asking about, it can be difficult for the recipient of the question to know what is legitimate to answer - making it easier to just answer "nothing". Most people don't want to look stupid by bringing irrelevant feedback to the table.
Read about constructive feedback here.
Bad experiences with giving feedback
If the person you're asking has had a bad experience giving honest feedback in the past - whether it's with you, some of your colleagues, or even from previous employment - it can affect their willingness to do it again. And unfortunately, the more bad experiences they have, the harder it is to get their honest feedback.
Low level of psychological safety in the room
People need to feel comfortable sharing feedback in a given crowd of people before they will do it of their own free will. That's why it's super important as a leader to work on building a high level of psychological safety in our teams and departments. When the general level of safety increases, more and more people will find it safe to participate in the debate, ask questions and share feedback. Read more about building psychological safety as a leader here.
Conflict aversion or low "courage"
Some people you can place in almost any environment and they will always give their honest opinion to everyone and everything. Other people may find it really difficult to do so, due to conflict aversion or because they don't have "courage" as one of their character strengths. In the latter case, it will just be harder to get honest answers from them because their fear of potential conflicts or consequences is greater than others. The higher the psychological safety of the team, the less courage it will take to come forward.
Learn more about your own character strengths by taking a strengths profile here. It takes about 10 minutes and afterwards you'll have a great tool for your leadership and collaboration with other people. Read more about how we use strengths focus in our feedback work here.
Lack of insight or knowledge
Sometimes it also just happens that you're asking a person who doesn't feel they have enough insight or knowledge to answer. If you, as a manager, are dealing with an employee who may not have reflected at all on what you do well or less well in relation to your management, it's naturally difficult for them to answer your question. That's why it's also important to be able to accept that our colleague doesn't have any input they're willing to share.
Read more about strategic management here
Sometimes it can help to give them some time to think - anything from days' notice to just 30-60 seconds of reflection time - to get the pieces falling into place. Powerful but simple trick.
Now we've started to look at solutions, so let's continue on that track.
What can you do to get more (honest and useful) feedback as a manager
With some basic knowledge of the barriers in mind, let's take a solution-oriented approach by looking at some of the things you can do to get more quality out of the dialogues. As mentioned above, getting honest feedback as a manager is not a given, so it often takes some training before it bears fruit.
Make it a good experience (react positively)
For many, giving and receiving feedback is a vulnerable situation, as you don't always know in advance how the dialog will end up. Especially when you dare to give feedback to your manager. That's why it's especially important that you, as the person asking for feedback, do your best to make it a good experience for the person giving the feedback. This is essential for the giver to want to do it again and again.
A place to start to make it a good experience is to be present and listen to your colleagues or employees' point of view, be in a relaxed state of mind, and generally be curious to understand why they feel the way they do. You may inwardly think that it's annoying that the person hasn't said this to you sooner, but you need to keep that annoyance inside and communicate it peacefully (if you should do so at all...).
Be explicit about your intention to ask
To create a sense of security for the person you want feedback from in the situation, it can make sense to "set the scene" and be explicit about why you are seeking their feedback and, not least, describe the value it can give you. Maybe it's because you want to be able to provide the best possible leadership to your employees? Maybe it's because you want you to get the most success out of this project together? You want it to sound authentic and not like a tape recorder, so find something that's important to you.
Ask for feedback on something specific
It can be difficult to give feedback if you're not specific enough about what you want feedback on.
"Do you have any feedback for me?" can become: "What is one thing you see I can do better in terms of being a leader for you?"
Inthis way, you've lowered the bar a little bit for the dialog and, not least, made it just a little bit more specific about what you want feedback on. That's not to say that you should never ask "Do you have any feedback?", as it can sometimes open up things you're completely blind to - but often it's because you're not specific that you don't get any useful feedback back.
Check out our guide with good feedback questions.
Ask for feedback often(re)
If you want to create a culture around you that it's okay to give feedback, you need to ask for feedback over and over again. When you ask repeatedly, you're signaling that you're humble about feedback and that you really mean it.
Another reason to ask often is that it may take some time before you actually get any gold back. For some people, you'll have to ask them repeatedly and fish it out of them before they'll even give you an honest answer - and others may want to say something, but it may only be every 4th time that you find their feedback really useful.
Be open and welcoming - even at other times
This tip doesn't actually relate to the situations in which you ask for feedback, but rather to your general behavior. Are you by nature very brash and blunt in your tone of voice and appearance? Then you should know that this can have the consequence that your colleagues and employees are afraid to give you honest feedback - and wonder how you will react.
You don't necessarily have to change everything about yourself, but simply become more aware that your general behavior affects the trust and perception people have of you, which ultimately affects their willingness to give you feedback.
Check out our article on prima donna leadership
Don't punish colleagues or employees for giving their honest opinion
Perhaps it goes without saying that if you want people's honest feedback - also in the future - you shouldn't abuse the trust they place in you by giving you their honest opinion.
For example, if you've become a little bitter about some honest feedback you've received and the person who gave it feels like they're getting less attention, a cold shoulder, or perhaps all the boring tasks assigned to them (as a consequence of your bitterness), you can be sure they'll never want to give you feedback again.
Choose an area or two that you want to train
Now you might understand why it can be difficult to get (and give) honest feedback - especially from employee to manager. If you follow the tips above, you'll put yourself in a good position to get honest and useful feedback.
Maybe it's exactly what you need to strengthen your leadership, become a better project manager or an even better specialist? Now it's time to get out there and train!
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