Hi, it's Danni here. Welcome to #Fridayfeedback.
I'll give you three examples of classic mistakes that can happen when we use the sandwich model in an attempt to give good feedback.
How NOT to use the sandwich model to give feedback
Last week we talked about how the way you ask for feedback is important for the feedback culture - as well as being inspiring!
This week, we're focusing on giving feedback, especially using the well-known model: the Sandwich Model.
The sandwich model is a model that can be used for feedback, but may not always be used correctly by professionals and organizations.
The sandwich model could look something like this:
"Hi Allan! Great meeting today. I think it lacked a bit of structure and it was way too long. A lot of people were looking at their phones and some were yawning at the end. But anyway... Great shirt!"
The sandwich model is often given with good intentions, but we often make one of these three classic mistakes.
The recipient is waiting for the "steak" in your sandwich.
Firstly, we run the risk that people are used to the sandwich model, they know what's about to happen.
So their inner dialog will be: "Get to the point!"
When that happens, the purpose of the sandwich is gone and you might as well get the point across.
You can feel it in the conversation that the important thing is not the praise that is being said, but what comes afterwards.
Your recognition is too vague
The second situation is when you are unprepared with your praise. We also dive into that here, where we say: Your recognition isn't working - here's why.
If it's so trivial or inconsistent with what you really want to say. What happens is that you set off the recipient's bullshit detector.
The BS detector is always ready in our brain. When people praise us and we don't believe it.
"Bullsh*t! Bullsh*t!"
You lose authenticity and the recipient has ended up in a completely different state than you hoped. That's why it's so important to be specific when giving recognition. This is our second mistake.
Praise overshadows the message
The third mistake we make is that we overshadow the constructive with our praise.
Because we're afraid of upsetting someone.
In this situation, the recipient may walk away thinking: "That actually went really well! Thank you, I appreciate that. Great feedback."
Instead of giving a sandwich, you've given two pieces of bread with a little bit of ketchup in between.
The recipient probably doesn't remember the constructive part, and that was the whole purpose; to tell the constructive part as well.
Otherwise, you might as well have recognized the person.
Where are you going to give the sandwich? Where is it a challenge for you to be honest and direct with what needs to be said?
How do you use the sandwich model? What would you rather you did?
Let us know if you'd like to have a no-obligation conversation about how you can get more out of your feedback culture.
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