Hi, this is Danni. Welcome to Friday Feedback.
No, scratch that.
Because it's Feedback and the Monopoly, Part II today.
Last week, we took a DSB trip with a feedback dilemma as our starting point.
The reason it's part of Friday Feedback is because many people understand feedback as something that happens between manager and employee.
Typically for an MU conversation once or twice a year, possibly during your 1:1s.
But potentially, good feedback habits can help strengthen your relationships.
Andwhen we do, feedback is much more than a manager-employee interaction.
It's something that can happen anywhere.
The DSB dilemma
To summarize, I'm out and about with DSB. I'm sitting in a compartment. It's not a quiet compartment, but it's completely quiet.
Until suddenly someone decides to listen to music. Out of their speakers. Not like this, loud in the headphones, but so loud that everyone can hear everything that's going on in this musical number.
It seems strange.
Why on earth would you do that?
And here's where I have a dilemma. Should I ignore it or should I do something about it?
My curiosity can't keep me in my seat. Like a second Sherlock Holmes, I stand up and start walking down the aisle.
Keeping an eye on every little detail.
He has headphones on.
She's asleep.
She's also wearing headphones.
But as I get further down, I can also feel that the sound is getting lower again, so I turn around and start walking back.
And that's where I see the culprit.
Right there. The lady with the iPad.
What should I do? Now it's already a bit weird, because I've been up and walking. As if I should just stretch my legs.
It's a long drive, so maybe I can explain myself with that.
Anyway, in this situation I choose to continue walking back to my seat, and just before I sit down, I do a few dance moves.
To show the lady with the iPad that:
What she hears, I can hear.
We can hear that.
And then I sit down in my seat.
I'm not entirely sure that's the smartest way to give feedback, but sometimes it is.
Then we're going to give it in a slightly odd way in the situation. That's the reality.
It's what happens afterwards that matters.
After sitting down for 1.5 seconds, the music turns off.
My curiosity is no less. It's just changed.
What is she thinking?
Did she think it was a bit strange?
Is she happy? Does she think it was a bit cheeky? Was it a bit cocky?
I don't know, I don't know.
Redemption and the relationship
Several hours later, on our way to Jutland, she has reached her destination.
So she stands up. Walks towards me. That's the exit for her. And then she stops right next to me. Puts a hand on my shoulder.
Looks me in the eye.
And says thank you.
Smiles slightly and continues: "Thank you for the way you said it. It was so subtle and so nice."
Until the moment she said it, I had no idea what she was thinking.
And that's what I think is so important about feedback: that it becomes a dialog. Where we create relationships.
Ihave two questions:
- Are you saying the things that matter to you?
- And are you responding to the feedback you receive in a way that strengthens your relationships?
All in the long run. Because feedback is sometimes uncomfortable in the short term. I know, I know, I know.
Butin the long run, are you strengthening your relationships?
Every Friday a new short episode of #Fridayfeedback is published. Short videos with tips for better performance and well-being through feedback.
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