Friday feedback with Danni Liljekrans.
I understand that the feedback culture is not taking off in most teams. Watch the video and maybe it makes sense to you too?
We train managers to give feedback. Probably not as intensively, but a little bit. We don't train anyone to receive feedback, not even the manager.
Last week we talked about a metaphor that when you're on a team, it's like we're playing on this field. On this field with a common goal, where there are some people we play with more than others and where we have a responsibility to give each other feedback.
We're building on that today, so if you missed the last episode, check it out first.
Imagine that all the feedback and communication given in a team is the equivalent of throwing a ball. Now we can explain why a lot of communication, but especially feedback is so difficult. Because in reality, very often (at least everywhere I go) we only train the manager to "throw a ball".
We do not train anyone to seize.
Then it is clear that no one wants to say: "Play me, play me!" Because they don't feel comfortable grabbing.
They also do not know how it is thrown. They don't know if there is bullying. Obviously, nobody wants to say: "Play me", or even throw if they don't know how it's done.
Okay, okay, okay, okay. So, no one has been trained in throwing. No one has been trained in catching at all. Then there are some, when they finally have to throw, they throw really hard, and there are others who are really just afraid of the ball. If you throw it to them, they will run away rather than dare to catch it. And if they are forced into it, or if they really "man up" and want to "throw", then they may roll the ball. Because they know how much it can hurt.
Readalso: What is feedback
Sothey basically just leave the ball next to you and walk away. You won't even realize that they have tried to give you feedback. Because they don't dare to give it honestly and directly.
Finally, we also have two other types. One is the type that collects into a pile. Every time something happens, they put a ball in the basket. And when it's half-time, they throw all the balls.
It may be the manager who doesn't really know how to do it, so they pile it all up and deliver it all to the MU interview. Others, who collect in a pile, throw it all together at once when the last drop makes the cup overflow.
And then there are those who...we probably know them well, right? They throw the ball to the playmaker in the center of the field and say: "Could you please pass this to the guy over in the corner?" - giving the feedback to the manager and asking the manager to pass it on, because they don't want that confrontation themselves.
As we talked about in the last episode, we need to practice throwing and catching balls - giving and receiving feedback.
We need to create this trust within the team, so that it's something we can do while we're playing a game. And just like we talked about in episode eight, we need to have a common language. Because if we don't know how "hard" we should throw these balls (read: how directly we should deliver our feedback), then no one really dares to do it on their own.
So how are you doing?
If you were to rate yourselves on a scale of 1-10, how good are you at throwing and catching? - or giving and receiving feedback?
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