If your employees could choose between a raise and you becoming a better manager, which would they choose?
Chances are you're imagining your employees walking around humming Barrett Strong's song "Money":
"Your leadership gives me such a thrill, but your leadership don't pay my bliss, I need money!".
But here's the truth: a survey revealed that 65% of all Americans said a better manager would increase their job satisfaction, while only 35% opted for a raise. Pretty impressive, don't you think? People over money.
According to the Gallup Research Organization, your employees will be more productive, more engaged and significantly more likely to stay longer in their current job - if they feel like you see and care about them.
The Tell Your Boss blog gives employees who are struggling with their managers interesting advice on how to handle the situation. It's the one website we hope your employees never visit. So how can you avoid ending up in the black book of "lousy bosses" - along with Donald Trump and Rupert Murdoch for the record - and instead become a great leader like Larry Page (CEO of Alphabet, Google's parent company) or Howard Schultz (former CEO of Starbuck)?
Kim Scott, author of the book Radical Candor: How to Be a Great Boss Without Losing Your Humanity, says this is the solution to all your problems - except your postponed weight loss; you'll actually have to cut back on the amount of fries - too bad.
RadicalCandor
First ofall, what on earth is "Radical Candor"? I'll be right there: It's the ability to challenge directly (Challenge Directly) while showing that you care personally (Care Personally) about your employees. This means that you can speak your honest opinion while listening to your employees and showing them that you care. This will help you and everyone else at work build relationships in the workplace while guiding your team to achieve results.
Read also: What is feedback
Small talk about birthdays and weekend plans is part of the job
Remember that "emotional labor" and listening to your employees is part of the job as a leader, so it should not be seen as a waste of time when you small talk or feel like an emotional babysitter for your employees... at all! How can you lead the people in your organization if you have no idea what kind of people they are or what's going on in their lives?
For example, would you push your daughter to play a sport that she really hates? I doubt it. But what if you don't know that she hates it? To avoid that situation, you need to know her interests, passions and dislikes. The same goes in the workplace: strong relationships are key.
According to Scott, a leader who fails to take personal interest and challenge directly can end up with a different type of behavior that can be fooled into thinking it's appropriate.
The 3 pitfalls
Think of the first, Ruinous Empathy. This is when you are personally interested but don't dare to challenge your employees directly.
Like an overprotective mother who loves her child but is unable to give them the mental tools they need to grow up. It's just praise that doesn't help the employee understand what's good or bad about their work because it doesn't get specific - it's just sugar-coated gloss.
Then there's Obnoxious Agg ression, as seen in the typical "bad boss": the one who builds a hierarchical wall between himself and his employees. He constantly challenges without taking a personal interest in his people. As a result, criticism becomes distant to employees because they can't see the point, while his attempts at praise are perceived as false and superficial.
Lastly, Manipulative Insincerity can be compared to the "friend" who, for his own amusement, doesn't stop you from texting your ex-girlfriend when you're drunk, even though he knows you'll look like a complete fool. This happens because he neither shows personal interest; his praise is superficial and vague, nor does he challenge you directly; his criticism is neither clear nor loving.
Showwho you are as a person
Put it this way; if you're willing to try Radical Candor as a leadership philosophy, you need to bring your whole person to work, not put on a "work mask" or try to exude "professionalism".
In fact, personal interest and personal leadership means caring about more than just your employees' ability to perform - you need to care about the people you manage as whole people. It's about getting to know them properly, learning what's important to them and what their dreams are in life, even outside of their career. That way, you'll be able to build trust, understand their motivation and drive collaborative results.
The second dimension of Radical Candor, direct challenge, is about letting people know when their work isn't good enough and why - even if it's usually uncomfortable for both parties. Challenging your colleagues with clear, direct feedback is actually one of the best ways to show your employees that you care about their professional and personal development.
Try reading about paradox management here.
It actually works the other way around too: Ask your colleagues to challenge you and you'll find that you'll find it easier to build a trusting relationship.
At the end of the day, you, the leader, are only human.
By Matilde Rebori and Morten Melby.
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