How to create balance_200D↩
We can all agree that the above is a good attitude, but is it actually productive? Not exclusively. We need to keep in mind that the real purpose of feedback is to help others improve, not to make them feel good. Of course, I'm not saying you should be rude - be polite, always - knowing that your goal is to convey your views clearly and specifically. Of course, in effective feedback, balance is also essential, just like when you eat a salad for dinner and then treat yourself to some ice cream for dessert.
It should come as no surprise that balance is the key to life. What you may not realize is that balance can improve both the productivity of your team and even save your marriage. Talk about killing two birds with one stone?
Read about charimatic leadership here.
High performing teams
According to a study by Emily Heaphy and Marcial Losada, what separates high and low performing teams the most is the ratio of positive feedback (for example, "Good job on your presentation, I especially feel that your point about X is relevant because...") to constructive-negative feedback ("I noticed that you didn't include the important aspect of X in your presentation, I think you should include it next time.")
Let's take a look at the numbers, shall we?
While low-performing teams have a ratio of 0.36:1, meaning they make almost 3 times as many negative comments as positive ones, high-performing teams have a ratio of 5.6:1 - or almost 6 positive comments for every negative one.
Does this mean that the fewer "negative" comments you receive, the better you become?
Well, not exactly. It has been shown (by HBR and others) that negative feedback actually helps you develop as a professional. Nevertheless, you should consider providing a high proportion of positive input if you want your corrective comments to be effective.
Along happy marriage
Enough about work for now, let's get to a juicier topic!
We'll start with the bad news: you can't really avoid conflict with your wife or husband. What you can do is try to stay together as long as possible - and how?
Constructive feedback actually plays an important role here too. According to a study by Dr. John Gottman, one of the top 10 most influential therapists of the last decade and co-founder of the Gottman Institute, stable marriages have a 5:1 ratio of positivity to negativity in their interactions.
For unstable and dissolving marriages, however, the ratio is 0.8:1.
So, don't be afraid to argue with your partner, it's healthy for a number of reasons, but while you're doing it - don't forget to praise them for how good they are in the kitchen.
By Matilde Rebori and Morten Melby.